Let's be real...being single any time of the year is absolute diarrhoea. But during Christmas is an especially hard pill to swallow no matter how much alcohol you try to down to null the pain.It's the time of the year that most singleton's dread, the time of presents, alcohol, family time and the dreaded look of judgement when you once again turn up the the festivities without a partner.
To quote Tamar Braxton "ain't nothing like being alone at Christmas, everybody's got a man but me again this year..." The reason that Christmas is worst than Valentines is because that day is only 24 hours, you can sleep through it, make yourself busy, go away etc but Christmas is a period of time, you have to prepare yourself for war. I'm not playing, you have to go through the trenches of Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day that's 72 hours and a lot of people to face! Just when you think that you've survived it all...you get sucker punched in your gut with new year's proposals and pregnancy announcements..fuck a duck BUT it's all good because Delia-Rene is here to help you out!
1. Prepare for the shade from your friends and family
You know the shade is coming, whether it be by that judgemental look, the little whisper amongst your family or the blatant question from your loud aunty/friend who has NO DECORUM.
"*insert name* Why are you single/Where's your girlfriend/boyfriend/When you going to have a baby/married?"
*sighs* the rum punch/mulled wine/whatever alcohol they choose to drink has them feeling hella brave to even ask you that question because the last time I checked, I was the only person washing my crutch therefore what I do with it is no-one's business but my own. When it comes to people throwing shade or inappropriate personal questions at me...I take no prisoners. I will throw comebacks at every woman, man, child or animal and feel absolutely no way about it. Now to throw the shade back takes skill, wit and practice but the more you let people know directly that you relationship status is none of their business the more they will learn not to ask you! I dare a betch to ask me where my man is or why I haven't had a child because it's on like popcorn. My comebacks include bringing up their past, the moustache on their top lip that they need to Veet, an embarrassing story that they think everyone has forgotten about, their past relationships, the plaque on their teeth, the sleep in their eye...I don't care what you have to say...use it! I will be Petty Labelle when I need to be *flicks hair* (FYI don't do this for your parents though...you're going to have to take the L for that one I'm afraid, but that doesn't mean you can't have an honest conversation with them about how it makes you feel.)
2. Save your monies heaux!
There's nothing I love more than saving money! Why waste money on people that you don't need to? Being single means that you don't have to stress yourself for hours on end trying to find the perfect gift for your partner, especially when it's still new-new and you don't want to come across too strong but you want to be cute but you don't know how much to spend but you don't know what he/she is getting you. Ain't nobody got time for that headache, instead you can spend that money on your damn self! HURRAY! Treat yourself! Get a pedicure or manicure, get your hair done, go to the spa, whatever makes you feel good about yourself and has you looking good so that you can enter Christmas and the New Year looking like 24 carat magic and gift people with your presence!
3. Remember misery loves company
It's very easy to start feeling down about being single especially if your break-up was recent and you're still getting over it. It's tough being alone and you should feel sorry for yourself, but it's important to not allow it to consume you so that you wallow in your sadness and become depressed. Everyone gets into a habit at the end of the year to be nostalgic, review what you've learned and the experiences that you've had. Your relationships or situationships are included because you start thinking about that fool you wasted so much time on, who you thought was "the one", what you did right or wrong. But irrespective of all this do not allow what ever has happened this year or in past relationships make you feel less than you are. If anything, you should be grateful that you no longer have to waste time, emotion and energy on a person that doesn't deserve it! Speak affirmations, positivity and prepare for an awesome #YearOfLavish in 2017.
4. Keep yourself busy
This is the busiest time of the year, so you have the choice of how you spend your time and who with! Meet up with your friends that you know will ensure you laugh and have a good time. Try and do something that you've never done before. Don't be the miserable person who's in the corner scrolling through their phone and not talking. This is a perfect time to catch-up, go out and finish your year on a high note. You don't have to be going up and down London to your family and your partner's family in order to spend equal amount of time, the several thousand introductions, fake smiles and million questions that you have to answer about your life and how you met. You can do what you want and not have to be on-call to your partner who thinks that you're turning up too much, twerk in the middle of the dance floor and don't give a damn whilst you do it!
5. Show love to others
We are all aware how hard this time of year is for those that are homeless or elderly. There are many people out there that do not have the support of friends and family, so this time is as good as any to give back to those less fortunate than you. There are thousands of volunteering opportunities during this festive period and it not only is morally right to do so you end up feeling great about yourself that you showed empathy and love to others after all, that's really what Christmas is about! Furthermore, don't only just do it for Christmas...find something to do for an extensive amount of time that ties into your morals and what you believe in, you only have to turn on your television and see the atrocities happening around the world to realise that we all have a responsibility to stand up for what is right.
6. Don't get sucked into social media
It's very easy to spend hours scrolling your phone, liking pictures of couples on Instagram and watching snaps of Christmas dinners. But the more antisocial you become whilst glued to your phone, the more you miss out on the great memories that you could be making with your own friends and families. Our generation are already too consumed with their smartphones and struggle not being on them for more than 5 minutes but it's easy to get sucked into what you see on social media. The perfect looking couple and their messages of undying love for their partners with their matching Xmas jumpers and him holding her in his arms like it's Sunset Beach. But remember...it's just a picture you have no idea what happens behind closed doors. Do not compare yourself to other women/men and wonder how they are living this perfect life of love and why you can't do the same. Everyone is different what is meant for you will come at the right time and it's certainly not going to happen if you are looking down consumed on your phone whilst a potential cutie is walking straight past you!
7. Get your flirt on
FUCK a mistletoe...this is the perfect time to feel good about yourself and meet new people. Remember there are plenty of single people just like yourself at this time of year and they're hoping to meet new people! Yes I know dating can be very monotonous and tiring, the thought of putting yourself out there, starting all over again, reinventing yourself and explaining what you want is LONG! But betch do you want to be alone for the rest of your life? That's what I thought! It's all on your terms what you decide you want even if you just want to give yourself a little ego boost by getting compliments and having a harmless conversation with someone there's nothing wrong with that! There's nothing more sexier than confidence and a smile, it will make people naturally draw towards you, you don't know what the future holds including your future boo! Just don't go back to the ass wipe that hurt you, and if you do only use them for the skills that they have and do not allow yourself to get emotionally attached again *wink*
If all else fails then start preparing yourself for next year, all the things you want to achieve and do! Next week I'll be showing you guys how to do that to prepare yourself for #YearOfLavish in 2017 so that it can be the most epic year yet! Remember to drink to your heart and stomach's content, shop smart during the Boxing Day sales and end your year on a high!
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