I'm NOT about this FULL time life no more!
Hope you are all well and just as frustrated with this weather as I am!
Just wanted to have a little rant with you guys, as you know my patience IS A MYTH and for a while this issue has been stirring in my womb so who better to rant about it then my lovely readers!
As most of you know by now, I work as a Head Of Year 11 in a secondary school. This is a job that I have wanted since I started my journey within education 5 years ago. I quickly realised that I really loved building relationships with these young teenagers and getting to know them as see them walk in as a cute little Year 7 student with a rucksack bigger than them and an oversized blazer and leave as Year 11 students who thought they knew everything, made me laugh but were at a pinnacle stage of their life.
Don't get it twisted, there are SEVERAL things about working in a school which I FLIPPING HATE! Please believe there are many times when I've wanted to HULK SMASH a child into the floor for being rude to me, shouting at me, or I've had to walk away from them because I've wanted to punch them in the throat but I realise I will lose my job and get arrested. Furthermore, the amount of times I've wanted to bitch slap some of these WHATLESS parents because they don't know how to discipline and support their children in the correct manner, because they were too busy trying to be their FRIEND and not their PARENT. The amount of paperwork which I've wanted to light a match and begin a fire dance around bumflicking to some bashment or soca. Or the teachers I want to kick in their neck because they look down at support staff and think that they are better than me simply because I don't teach but want to be the first fu*kers to call me when they can't manage one of my students behaviour *woosah*
One thing I have always said is by the time I have reached 30 I wanted to be working for myself, I don't like the fact that I'm rolling my big backside out of bed at 6:30am in the morning when I'm not a morning person to begin with and then go all the way to my work and all I can think of is my blog, my script writing and all the other events and ideas I want to do IF I had the time to do it.
I'm very grateful that by having a full time job it's allowed me to fix up my credit, because truth be told 3 years ago my credit history was laughable...it...was...bad. But through scrimping, saving and realising trying to run from my debts didn't mean that they would disappear I'm finally at a place where I only now have 1 debt left to pay off *bumflicks*
Currently my Year 11's are 23 days away from their first ever GCSE exam which is *drumrolls* FRENCH!!!! I can not tell you the amount of times I have been told...
"Miss why do I have to study another language? I hate learning French!"
To be fair...when I was 16 I was the same I absolutely hated French and Spanish and to this day I mainly only use or remember the bad words or the chorus of Lady Marmalade. I wish I kept up with my Espanol as I'm an avid salsa and kizomba dancer and would like to know what the hell I'm bring spun around too when I go out!
I turned twenty *cough* this year and I made a decision that 2016 was going to be a HUGE year of change for me and so far it really has been.
1. Being shortlisted for the UK Blog Awards on the 29th April in Westminster Park Plaza!
2. Beginning the casting and rehearsals for "Experiences" my theatre production coming out in summer 2016
So as this year progresses, the feeling of wanting to pursue my dreams and become self-employed is recurring and I can't help by feel that I should make the JUMP but then my common sense is like
"Betch, you live ALONE, who is going to pay your rent and how are you going to be able to eat?"
Which is a very good point, I live alone in West London, I have bills , I like to eat and my addiction to H&M is real therefore just deciding to leave my job has to be strategic and thought out very carefully.
I also have to admit I am absolutely crap at saving..its a myth..diarrhoea and something that I really need to get better at. I have managed to go on 2 short city trips so far this year to Amsterdam and Cologne and I will be returning back to my homeland St.Lucia in October which I am super excited about so a betch can't just up and leave my job like I have money stacked or rich parents to support me!
However, working full time is stifling my creativity and I really have so many GREAT ideas that I want...scratch that.. I NEED to get off the ground so I need to me more logical and economical with my decisions from this day forth!
To all the creatives,entrepreneurs, CEO's and bosses out there I really commend you and I look forward to the day that I can say that I am self-employed and doing what I love everyday because it's only through God alone that I haven't lost my job because the rage has been real several times at my job, it's a good thing that I'm such a dope ass Head Of Year!!!
If you are like me and looking to make that step to being self-employed I encourage you to keep visualising but also make steps towards making that dream a reality. A dream is only a dream until you make it happen. Yes, sacrifices will have to be made, it will be tough, you will question yourself many times, people will try to deter you from going for it but at the end of the day you need to LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU!
If they are not FEEDING or FU*KING you...they really don't have a say in what you choose to do with your life if we're bring brutally honest, so politely tell them to go play in traffic and you keep going!!!
I've given myself 1 year to really achieve my goal, I may get to it beforehand it might take slightly longer BUT I'm determined to make it a reality and so should you!