Excuse Me Mister
I can't believe that it's taken me a whole week to get over my 30th birthday party on Saturday. Gone are the days when I could go raving until 4am, wake up at 7am and still feel like I had a full nights rest. After my "All White Lavish party" a betch was TIRED. The day after my birthday involved water, food, cake and trying to piece together what the hell I did. I drank so much...way too much and as you guys know I'm a supercalifraglistic lightweight and everyone and their mother kept the drinks coming, and after all I had a special bling champagne glass so why not use it? Thank God for my friends who were able to send me snaps, pictures and embarrassing videos of myself to help my memory and hangover!
I also had the bright idea to invite several of my exes to my birthday, yeah I don't know why I did that BUT we thank God that they all behaved and to be honest I'm on good terms with most of them, although I have to admit part of me invited me them because I knew that I would be looking GOOD on that day so I wanted them to see all of what they are missing. Kiss my ass so what! Not gonna lie, at one point I saw 2 of them speaking to each other and my heart stopped for 0.5 seconds because they know of each other but not what my exes look like. Not to mention my ride or die girls do not like one of my exes in particular and was ready to kick him down. You need those girls ready to kick a man down for you to be honest I'm the same!
But I had an amazing night thanks to my friends and family who came out on the night and partied with me all dressed in white looking like ANGELS even though I know those white clothes doesn't stop them from being the ratchet people that I know them as! A huge thank you to my girl Rhoda who always does my make up for me because at thirty years old the only thing I can do is eyeliner, mascara and lipstick...that's it. She had me feeling like 24 carat magic and the lashes stayed on until the next day, don't judge me.
Of course because it was an all white party I couldn't wear white I had to stand out so I found this Blue Embellished gem courtesy of Asos at £65 which I kept under tight reveal until I got to my party because I had to stand out it's my party after all! My shoes came courtesy of Missguided, I love block heels because to be honest my ankles can't survive in those skinny ass pretty shoes anymore; I am a thickems I need support for all this booty I carry around and was a bargain at £35 (there is currently 25% off Missguided). I lovveee this dress it's blinging, its lavish, it actually survived the whole night I expected it to be a 'one time' kind of outfit but I will be wearing again...just not anytime this year because you know it's THAT kind of dress innit? My heels were so comfortable the only reason I took them off was because I'm a lightweight and didn't want to break my ankles! My ear cuff was courtesy of Ebay and was around £2 ...one thing about me is I am the BARGAIN QUEEN! Just because this is the #YearOfLavish doesn't mean I need to waste money!
As I said in my last blog "A Betch is THIRTY" my homegirl Tori set herself a challenge of speaking to three guys whilst at my party and if one took her fancy she would initiate the exchange of numbers.
There were plenty of single men and women at my party (which I made clear during my drunken speech) so I was looking forward to seeing people mingle. A few times myself I forced a few introductions because I told them they probably won't be around each other again unless I'm pregnant, getting married or 40....I know which one most my friends and family are hoping comes first. But it's refreshing to see that some of my women weren't waiting for men to speak to them...they were using their femininity, their smile and their confidence to speak to guys themselves.
Which lead me to think:
How many times have you moved to a man?
I know it's not the "norm" for a woman to approach a man, plus I hate being told "no" and the fear of rejection is REAL. Imagine that you've plucked up all that courage to go and start a conversation with a man and he shuts you down quicker than your battery on 1% . I feel it for men because I think as women we forget how daunting it must be to ask someone for their number, give them a compliment and ask to take them out for a drink. Sometimes you don't even get past hi because women will attack you "I've got a man don't chat to me" and I've seen men taken back by their aggressive response when all they're trying to do is make conversation. I'm not saying people are wrong for stating they're in a relationship...it's just the manner in which you do so. If a man was loud and said to me "I got a girl leave me alone" I think I would Spartan kick him just out of the pain of being rejected I'm not going to lie. But obviously now that I am mature (notice I haven't said old) I am more open to the idea of approaching a guy and making the first step.
Let's not act like I have the confidence to just walk up to them and act like some Rico Swarve and ask boldly for their number, you must be sniffing skittles. BUT I have learned to use subtle hints to engage whether the person is interested in me.
You have pearly whites might as well use them, I'll be real if I don't smile I look miserable. I have resting bitch face I can't help it, it's mostly because I'm thinking of a million things at once, what I need to do, write and complete. Sometimes it's because I am vex at something, my period is coming I dunno the list is endless but let me see a sexy treacle and a betch will smile hard like I'm advertising Colgate. Smiling gives off positive vibes to other people and even if they're not interested most of the time they will smile back and that's not a bad thing.
2) Give them a few glances to let them know they've got your attention
You could be something small such as playing with your hair, taking a sip of your drink or the best is looking around for someone when you know damn well you're looking for NO-ONE. But acting like your scanning the room and you're gaze keeps going to them says something to them, even better if you can see from the corner of your eye that they're actively looking at you too!
3) Have a wing woman
We all need one, that girl that's going to be able to talk to you in code to let you know that "Mr dark chocolate in the green hoodie" is looking at you hard. It's even better if she knows them or a friend that they have come with so that they can run an introduction for you! Depending on how brave your wing woman is they can even walk over to your treacle and say that you are interested and collate some data for you and run the introduction if you feel a little too shy. A wing woman can also be perfect in buying you a shot, and gassing you up to feel brave enough to walk over and speak to that person yourself.
You would be surprised how little men are complimented, even if it's something small as they have a nice smile, what they are wearing, their aftershave it doesn't hurt to say something nice about the Treacle that's in front of you. I admit I'm totally doo doo at accepting compliments I will tell you shut up, change the subject or pull the ugliest face ever. But give a man a compliment unless they are an arrogant prick they will show appreciation for you saying it.
5) Use your ASSETS
We all have something about us that we can accentuate for flirting purposes and it doesn't always have to be your boobs or your booty. You'd be surprised how many guys find things attractive about us that we hate! Back to why I said step 1 is to smile because it's one of the things that I get complimented the most (thanks to me getting braces when I was younger and never drinking coffee or smoking) Find something that you like about yourself and use it to your advantage, if it does happen to be your boobs or your body shape then make sure what you wear compliments it but doesn't exploit it because showing areolas or your batty crack is not sexy.
If you want to find out how my girl Tori did check out the video below, it's hilarious!
Have you ever moved to a man?
Got any tips for us singletons?
Are you a guy yourself can you give us some pointers?
Comment below and let me know!