DeliaRene Professional


Welcome to my blog. I document my screenwriting, my life, talk a lot about relationships & daily rants in 2017 my #YearOfLavish. 

Kisses & Bumflicks

If Women & Sex Were Like Pro-Evolution!!

If Women & Sex Was Like Pro-Evolution Imagine This:

Foreplay would be like all the little players warming up on the pitch, gotta stretch certain muscles and get them ready for the game, so kissing, touching, caressing etc would be the warm up, now u need to make sure that you warm the female body properly or you won't be deemed fit enough to play a match and have 2 take ur ass home or the woman would leave.

However depending how cute you are or how much that girl likes you if your foreplay isn't on point we'll give u yellow card and give u a little warning, give you 1 2 2 coaching tips like your coach/manager or take control for a while, try change the formation and see which position you can handle the most!!

Now, think of female genitalia as the goal, each player is different with how they score a goal some like to shoot the ball straight into the back of the net,some like to show a little skill and tap the ball in be a little show off, some like to hit the goal in all different angles which is fine but you don't wanna hit the post i.e slip out n hit somewhere where your not supposed 2 or COMPLETELY MISS DA NET in the first place (y'all know wot I'm talking bout)

Now if you try hit it in the booty thats a straight RED CARD
  • Come off the pitch
  • Do not pass go
  • Do not collect your £200
That's straight violation and walk off the pitch with your head down and in shame, after that performance the woman might think of transferring you to another team or bringing in another player.

You only stay on ur team (with your female) for as long as ur performance is good, we look at how many goals are scored per season ( you get the hint by now) your performance in both the first and second half, if your a good captain and team player, your agility and fitness and your pay will be worth it!! (hopefully coz i ain't gonna lie some of ur girls are SLACKING but that;s a next subject don't worry man dem i hear ur cries) if not we make a substitution and bring in someone else YA DIGGGGGG!!!!

lol this was just a random thought in my head u guys know how I'm crazy its all for a laugh n was inspired by a comedienne called Dionne she was funny!!!

I'm Gonna Write More Call Them VEX IN THE CITY!!