Why #HurtBae had us all in our feelings
Before you read this blog and if you haven't seen it yet watch the following clip regarding a young woman named Kourtney who mets up with her ex-boyfriend Leonard to discuss his infidelity :
Firstly I can't even lie, I love how this was shot, the score (music) was perfectly aligned with the heightened emotion within this scene and the fact that they were facing each other made this even more emotive and intense when you literally see this beautiful young woman who clearly has to relive the pain of what this prick did to her and get somewhat of a "closure" on their relationship.
"No I didn't like you at first"
We've all been there, that person who you would bet everything within your current account that you would never get with or even like but they manage to slide into your heart and feelings. Usually because they either make you laugh or they show you that they're not the IDIOT that you've seen or assumed them to be. Kourtney should have stayed with her gut feeling of not looking Leonard, it was her soul trying to tell her to keep away from this demon.
"I would say that you were my best friend"
So this boy then acts like some Prince Charming, carries her groceries for her and spends time getting to know her, building a friendship and as they are neighbours it makes seeing each other hella convenient and easy. We would love to be able to walk to our boo's house in our house slippers and not be judged as being a tramp for doing so. We all want to fall in love with our best friend, so to hear a man admit that will have any woman's kitty jumping and mushing like goo. Kourtney becomes really emotional at that point because it is heartbreaking not only to lose the person you love but the friendship that came along with it. This is someone you allow to see all sides of you, who you are vulnerable with, drives you up the wall but are so happy to be around. When looking back in retrospect there's so many moments we can all think about with exes that even if we hate their guts...you appreciate that moment and how you felt at that time.
"I would go through this phone and see pictures and text messages. Sometimes you would lie and say it's not true & I don't know what you're talking about. Then you'd say 'Oh I'll stop'...but you didn't"
If you've ever been cheated on you would understand this pain. It..fucking...hurts. It hurts even more when you blatantly have the evidence literally staring at you in your face within their phone and yet they still deny it? Like am I dickhead? You've already disrespected me as your woman by being dishonest and entertaining other women, now that I'm confronting you about it, you want to act like Shaggy and say "it wasn't me". You can see that despite her knowing that he wasn't going to stop cheating and wasn't showing much remorse for it...she still stuck with him whether it was because she loved him that much or she was naive I can't really say but my gosh did we feel for her because you could see in her eyes that she wanted him to stop.
"One time I went to his room and he had someone else in the room and he told me to leave, I went back to my room and cried the whole night"
Now this when I lost my entire mind. I wanted to legit climb through my phone, take that chair he was sitting on and smash it over him. Could you imagine the embarrassment that even though she had already seen messages in his phone strike one, he had someone else in his room strike two and then asked HIS WOMAN to leave? STRRRIIIKKKEEE THREE
How humiliating as a woman, as HIS woman to do that to her. Not only was my rage in my neck at this point because this fool is just sitting there looking like he doesn't give two shits that he has literally broken this woman's heart but he told his girlfriend to leave whilst she cried the entire night over him. I expected at this point for him to apologise profusely for putting through that situation, for not showing her the respect that she deserved, for being an asshole, for saying he thought about that night and it made him upset knowing that he did that to her. But what did she get? NOTHING. Instead what this fatherfucker chose to do was say that things weren't the same because she would go through his phone. No shit Sherlock! Does this boy not have common sense? How would he feel to see the person that you love tell you to go home so that they can sleep or do whatever with someone else? Is he sniffing skittles? Is he OK? I'm a visual person so I could imagine Kourtney's whole world must have crashed down at that moment on their relationship. We could all see from her stature and the way she carries herself that she is such a sweet, innocent, timid looking girl who clearly was devoted to this man despite the fact that he didn't deserve her or do anything to show that he appreciated her. He literally treated her like a piece of shit on the bottom of his shoe, an inconvenience.
"Why wouldn't you just leave?"
*deep breath* Leonard was acting like he also didn't have a choice within this relationship to step away. You are being a shit boyfriend and constantly hurting this woman yet you didn't feel the need to walk away and leave her alone so that eventually she could move on and be happy without you? Bitch why didn't YOU leave? How about that? He clearly was not happy within the relationship that's made apparent by his cheating yet walking away would have meant that he would have to admit that he isn't the right person for her and that she deserves better. As humans we all make mistakes & we hurt the people that we love, but there comes a point that your poor choices becomes a habit and ignorant as hell. He doesn't look or sound like the type of person that even considers other people's feelings especially the woman in a relationship with him. If he took the time to actually reflect on his behaviour and look at himself as a man this should have been an question that he asked his damn self. Could she have walked away from him? Absolutely! At this point of this video I'm sure many of us were thinking that she should have too but some people don't have the strength to do that and I'm sure he knew that to, but his smug ass would content with her being miserable and not changing his ways.
"How many times did you cheat on me....I wasn't counting"
Jesus Christ in heaven...the arrogance of this boy is unreal. I know many were defending him on Twitter saying "at least he was being honest" but again all this reflects was that he honestly didn't even care. At no point despite the countless women and times he did her wrong was a thought that what he was doing was wrong. Cheating isn't something that "just happens" shut up I don't care what anyone says. There are many times during the initial conversation, the time you spend with that other person, times when you take your clothes off, kiss them for the first time, put on protection to think "hold on....this isn't right" but unfortunately most of the time they are NOT thinking. When people cheat the last thing on their mind is their partner they are giving into that sexual impulse or feeling and will think of you as an after thought. Leonard is LUCKY to never be with a woman like me, because the only thing that he would be counting is the amount of times I would have stamped on his ball sacks ..bet you learn how to count then. To relive that pain is most likely the reason why Kourtney walked away at this point. It's one thing to move on when this happens but to have the courage to ask someone flat out how many times they cheat on you and receive an answer like this, kicks you in your soul. It doesn't offer comfort, it again makes you question the person that you loved and spent time with. You may question her reasons for even asking Leonard this because he doesn't exactly come across like an open book or very emotive however you have to do what's right for you in order to bring closure, no matter if that answer ends up hurting you and bringing back that pain.
"There's nothing you could have done differently to prevent it, you did everything you needed to do as a good girlfriend and I was lucky to have someone like you"
This in itself answers that recurring question of what a woman can do in order to stop her man from cheating and the answer is nothing. Even if you are the best girlfriend in the world and they know that the only thing that will determine whether a person is faithful to you is themselves. Furthermore it shouldn't take what you do to determine whether a person is faithful to you because that is loving you with a condition, someone being committed to you is a non-negotiable in a relationship. The responsibility is not on you to make your partner not cheat on you, you are two individuals who have come together to share your life, feelings and emotions with, granted there are many things that when you choose to fulfil when you get into a relationship but their fidelity..is on them.
"I forgave you because you were my best friend"
There's a saying "Forgiveness is never about the other person, forgiveness is about YOU." Her intentions are so heartfelt because you can tell she wanted to forgive HIM because she wanted to still see the good in him, to not hate him, to not be hurt anymore but the moment she chose to forgive him what she really was doing was setting HERSELF free. So irrespective of his lame ass apology in this video and the excuses that he made, she would have inner peace and moved on from the situation because she has actually forgiven herself. When you forgive someone you also take into account what parts you were responsible for, what you did wrong and what you learned from it. Her forgiving him because he was her best friend is again testament to how loving Kourtney really is.
"I hope I get to see you grow into the woman that you are becoming"
For why? Why should you get the privilege of seeing me at my best when you was the cause of seeing me at my worst? Kourtney is a better woman than I am, he hurt her to the core and "hopes" that he still gets to be her friend? He claimed that she was his "best friend" at the beginning of this film and if this is how you treat someone that you claim to be so close to you I would hate to see what he does to his enemies boy. Leonard should have kept it moving and left her the fuck alone, clearly he's done enough, allow her to move on and suffer not having her in his life because to be real he doesn't even deserve her friendship. At NO point when he saw her break down in front of him did he move an inch in his seat to comfort her or ask if she was alright. He was sitting uptight like Tinman as if he was the one that had been cheated on and refused to show emotion yet you want to be friends? What kind of FRIEND are you? Miss me with that bullshit.
After watching this video the internet went searching for both Kourtney and Leonard including me and although there's 2 Twitter accounts claiming to be Kourtney at the moment (no surprise) they have both stated that she is now in a new relationship and happier than ever. That to me was the silver lining in watching this video. We were all in our feelings because this was a very emotional and vulnerable moment that we all got to watch and it struck a chord within all of us whether we've been cheated on, made mistakes like Leonard had or had an ex that we've found it hard to move on from. I just hope that all those that are currently going through this situation can learn from it and realise that they deserve better. As for Leonard...I still want to kick his nuts into his Adam's apple but we all know that his karma is coming and I hope he does honestly reflect on this and learn from it, if not this will be on the internet FOREVER!
What did you think watching this video? Leave a comment below!