May 5

May 5 Are you feeling yourself?

It's May, and apparently it's "Masturbation Month" did you know that? Your welcome. Because I sure as hell didn't. But a betch did her research and the notion of the first ever "National Masturbation Day" was back on the 1st May 1995...crazy innit? I probably didn't know about it because I was 8 at the time and had no business even knowing, talking, thinking or speaking about sex.

BUT ANYWAY

For those of us that are grown and of legal age to be having a sex life, it's often viewed as inappropriate or somewhat taboo to discuss women masturbating. I find it hilarious considering as soon as we hit puberty we are looked as sexual beings from the opposite sex but if we ever admit that we like to enjoy our sexuality and explore our own bodies they look at us like we are crazy.

Masturbation has often been seen as a 'masculine' thing to do, us Brits love to use the term wanker (not me because I am not THAT British sorry) in our every dialect. We see on TV and film in a stereotypical teenage/coming of age films with a scene of a parent walking in and seeing their sons masturbate to some porn/poster on their wall, you often see the parents quickly exit the room and some will struggle with the 'adult talk' of speaking to their own child about witnessing them with their tickle dick in their hands trying to satisfy themselves. BUT let that scene be a young woman masturbating and it would have had a very different outcome. You would have seen hell fire, her christened,have an exorcism performed on her, be ridiculed and made to feel guilty for touching and exploring her own genitalia.

BUT WHY?

Why should a young woman or any woman in fact feel bad for pleasuring herself? Sex is not just about penetration, the foreplay and build up is what gets you in the mood and is extremely important, you can't just ram your dick in and think that will make a female orgasm, are you insane? Ain't nobody got time for a selfish lover (and I'm sure you think of someone that has) who is solely looking to slap some skins with you, buss a nut and go about their business. I don't know about you but intimacy is very...very important for me. If you can't turn me on WITHOUT touching me, why would I then waste my time and my good good lingerie on you? For why? If a person can entice and serenade you without physical touch then don't bother upset your ovaries giving him more than he deserves! I know it's not just me, yes YOU know what I'm saying.

There's an age old saying...

“Why would you buy the cow, if you can get the milk for free?”

But so many women are giving them the whole hamburger with a side of milkshake when engaging in intercourse completely unaware of what they like done to them in order to orgasm and enjoy themselves. You do know that you deserve to right? I'm just saying. You're not going to know what you like sexually until you try and ladies that means that you got to spend some quality time with your damn self, put on some music, have a glass of wine and become like Dora and explore your body. Yes that's what I said. You should never feel ashamed of owning your sexuality and being confident with the body that you have. I truly believe that every woman has something sexy about them and it's not always what you think it is. Yes we have breasts and bomb ass vaginas but we are more than that and you have to love your entire body as much you possibly can, which I know in this day and age is incredibly hard to do BUT is so necessary as we are wasting time, money and tears admiring bodies that are pumped, sucked and cut to perfection.

Back to my point if you're in a relationship, if you haven't done so yet then you should think about touching yourself in front of your partner. Trust me when I say this ladies, he will lose his entire SHIT. It is a major turn on when you touch your body slowly, bite your lip and smile as he sits close to you and is unable to touch you. Listen the dick down you will get after it will be worth it! Plus it will turn you on and raise your confidence in knowing that your partner finds you sexually attractive and enjoys seeing you own your body. Now if you're a confident heaux (yes I spelled hoe like that for a reason to emphasise the classy extraness) as your touching yourself, you can ask your partner questions or if you're a little unsure as you try you can tell him to instruct you on how and where to touch your body.

If you are a singleton and currently not being DICKstracted by anything than there is nothing wrong with getting yourself a bullet or whatever you need to help put you to sleep. Having a orgasm is actually a good stress reliever, so why not give yourself that luxury just because you don't have a man? Girl you better get yours! I'm speaking like I'm a pro at this but to be honest I am shy as hell to walk into a store and get my own Inspector Gadget to help knock me out, I don't know why, maybe one day I'll put on my grown woman panties (no pun intended) and actually get one. Don't judge me.

Your body and sexuality isn't something that you should feel guilty about. I used to work in a secondary school and I was shocked at how many girls haven't even LOOKED at their own vaginas, let alone were aware that their uretha and vaginal opening were two different holes...bless them. But why would they know? Our society loves to throw thrush and tampon adverts at us all the time there's no wonder so many young girls don't feel confident about speaking about their bodies, and when they are, they get labelled for it...quickly.

Miss me with that bullshit, we often speak about what we want in a partner when it comes to a relationship but sex is also an important aspect of that too. You have to feel confident to speak to your lover about what you want, be open (if you like and only when you are ready with someone that you are comfortable and trust) to try new things but also need to know your limits and what doesn't turn you on. I'm not saying you have to do everything and anything...but betch at least try some things, who wants the same old for the rest of their life. Not me sir. Exit stage right.

So in this month of May, I encourage you all to have a date night with your damn self and take the time to just enjoy being in your own company and have some fun what's the worst that can happen? And if anyone makes you feel guilty for doing so, tell them that their mother is probably doing it when they're not around so #KissYourAssSoWhat? You won't even care what anyone has to say anyway because when you're done feeling yourself, you'll be strutting your stuff like your name is Beyonce.