Happy New Year all my Vexers and Vexettes!
I hope that you entered this year with those that matter and that you didn’t get too drunk so that you can remember most of the night! I was fortunate to be surrounded by those that I love and we had a beautiful (and highly tipsy) night at my home but it was all good!
So we are now 11 days into 2011 isn’t that crazy!? 2010 seemed to whizz past so quickly! 11.1.11 seems to be an important date due to all the 1’s, to be honest it doesn’t really matter to me, but I do intend to make every day this year count for me pursuing my dreams and aspirations.
What I DID what to talk about tonight, although may seem like its directed to us singletons but can be applied to those in a relationship as well.
This weekend, I was able to go to both Drake’s concert (which was INSANE!) and also I attended an all female event organized by Natalie Leonna PR called “Stand4Something other than lip-gloss” which was an AMAZING and INSPIRATIONAL night.
Whilst on my way home from my crazy weekend, I realized that over the course of me being single, I have slipped into a mundane routine without me even realizing or trying to change. In a relationship, after the honeymoon period you eventually fall into a routine, in my last relationship I was more at his house than I was at my own! I became comfortable and accustomed to what I called “our thing”, if I could tell you the amount of MONEY I spent on cabs to and from this boy’s house to go to work or back to my own house I could have paid my student loan off by now (it’s political).
When we broke up, after the emotional moments (and alcohol and slow jam nights) I realized that I had been abruptly shifted out of my daily routine. At first it was the small things like my morning texts, calls at lunch time to see how each other was and staying at his (please note I’m purposely leaving out the regular sex because you guys already know how EMOTIONAL that rehab is!)
Over time, apart from work and play rehearsals my bedroom became my recluse. I went to work and came home and that was the be all and end all of my life (sad isn’t it?) My best friend would come and stay down and we would spend the weekend together, sometimes go out to eat and go concerts etc etc but once she went back to university it went back to the same thing.
At first, I was fine with it because I wasn’t emotionally ready to start dating anyone therefore going to raves wasn’t something I was interested in (as well as the fact that raves nowadays are CRAP but that’s another story). I wasn’t driving therefore I couldn’t just get up and leave the house whenever I felt like it (i.e. when your parents get on your last DAMN nerve).
I liked staying at home; I have my room, my laptop, my music and a growing collection of DVD’s. Therefore I had no reason to leave my room (apart from when I was hungry!). But then I realized I was becoming TOO comfortable, when people would invite me out to an event/play/rave/trip I would agree with my mouth but in my head and waters I KNEW that I wasn’t going anywhere.
Everything outside my room became an effort, this then had a detrimental effect on my attitude. I was moving from being alone to lonely, and TRUST me there’s a big difference between the two! It’s emotionally healthy to be alone, otherwise I would go CRAZY! You need to have “alone time” to gather and sort out your head and things that you need to do, being alone is a personal CHOICE. Loneliness is a result of being alone too much, loneliness becomes a feeling (not a nice one at that) which results in you feeling incomplete and down.
It came to me one night that I hadn’t seen A LOT of my friends or been out for a long time and that was primarily MY fault. If I wanted to shake the way I was feeling (usually anger, its emotional) and dying from complete boredom than I possessed the power to do so! Once I took the effort to kick myself out of my side of the bed (usually the right side, its technical), put on some heels and do my hair and enjoy other people’s company I really enjoyed myself! Let’s not get it twisted I went to some places that I pray that I will NEVER have to go to again but it was all a learning process at the end of it all. There were even instances when I didn’t need company to go out and I would go out by myself, but the fact of being out was liberating and felt so good!
Now in 2011 I’ve made a vow to MYSELF to go to as many events/plays/places that I want to because to put it frankly I CAN. I’m lucky enough to be financially stable to allow me to do such things but what I get back from going out is priceless! Being single does NOT mean that you have to be sad! Yes it’s nice to have that special someone in your life but no-one is more special than YOURSELF!
Live, Love & Laugh
xXx Miss Vexy XxX