DeliaRene Professional


Welcome to my blog. I document my screenwriting, my life, talk a lot about relationships & daily rants in 2017 my #YearOfLavish. 

Kisses & Bumflicks

Don't Upset My Waters

Hello everyone!

Hope all my Vexers and Vexettes are doing well, right now I’m suffering with a cold (which I am NOT impressed with) and my laptop is broken (its technical) but it’s my birthday in 6 weeks so hey, if any of you are feeling generous (hint hint) then you know what to do!

So whilst I’m recovering from this stupid cold, I was having a conversation with my girl Yashi on our way home from rehearsals (hold tight your printed article Yashi I’m so proud of you) and when I got home I had time to dwell what we had said. Yashi and I regularly have conversations about relationships and society etc, so as I was chilling in my bed, my blackberry pinged off.

I noticed it was from some guy who I met recently in a club, for the sake of this blog let’s call him Cockafart.


Let me give you the background on me and Cockafart, we only met about 2 weeks ago (remember this information it will be useful later on the blog), we have been bbing each other every day, just getting to know each other, haven’t really spoken on the phone that often but it was still early days.


Cockafart pings me to ask me how my play rehearsals were, just having regular conversation and then he asked if he could take me out to dinner sometime next week, now you guys already know that me and food have NO problems! So therefore we set up a date for next week after work where I would go to dinner with him, as he was going to be in my area playing basketball, and I like sports (not just for watching sexy men run around I DO genuinely like sports I stayed up until 4am watching NFL so glad the Packers won but back to the story) so I agreed to come and watch his game as well.

Since I haven’t been on many dates (2 to be exact that’s technical, don’t laugh) since me and my ex broke up, I was kind of excited to the prospect of this date. Let’s be real, it is nice to go out and get to know someone and have a good time! Like I told you guys in my recent blogs when your single it is too easy to allow yourself to slip into that routine of staying at home and becoming depressed with a tub of Haagen Daaz and a DVD.


Cockafart is excited about seeing me next week… but then decides to ask me such an odd question he bb’s me:

Cockafart: So are we going to hang out after dinner?

Miss Vexy: Hang out where? What are you talking about?

Cockafart: You know like after dinner, can we hang out somewhere… like chill…

Miss Vexy: Erm how about you just tell me exactly what you’re on about.

Cockafart: So am I staying at yours or you going to stay at mine….

HOLD……THE…..HELL……ON! (don’t laugh)

Sorry? What? Stay where? Who? ME!? Does think boy know who I am?

We were just about to go on our FIRST date did you hear me FIRST and ALREADY this boy is asking me whether I’m staying over or he’s staying at mine…I’m sorry do I look like a hussy? He must take me for Snooki from Jersey Shore (big program OH YHH YHH!)

What the HECK happened to courting/dating? I remember the days when people would take time to get to know each other, go on a few dates and then the relationship would take a NATURAL course into someone’s bedroom.

But NOOOO…. This boy wants to be bright and brazen on the first date and think he’s getting my goodies! Before you guys ask, I did in NO way shape or form lead this boy on sexually into thinking he was even going to get a WHIFF of my knickers, so I seriously was baffled when he even asked my sleeping arrangements.

WHO DOES HE TAKE ME FOR!? No seriously! You don’t even know my LAST NAME and you already think you’re going to get some boombla? Call me old fashioned but no thanks! I like to take the time to get to know you first, go out a few times until I feel comfortable enough to take our relationship to the next level.


This guy would have thought he spent £20-30 on dinner and that warrants my narni as his dessert? So you are indirectly calling me a PROSTITUTE! And I’m NOT being dramatic I’m seeing the situation for what it is! Tell me that I’m lying!

This is why I am sometimes blunt when it comes to speaking to people, because in the back of my mind I am subconsciously WAITING for that person FU*K UP and to act the FOOL and for me to be like “I knew it”. Ladies always trust your waters when it comes to a new guy and fellas… I don’t know what part of your body you want to pay attention to but maybe spend less time thinking with your penis!

So it’s safe to say that come Wednesday I will NOT be on no bumbared date, I have just brought myself a ticket to see Silk, Kut Klose and Total in concert, and as for Cockafart like a true spoilt brat he deleted me off Blackberry, saved me from doing it myself!

Ya Digg?

FlashBACK away from ME!

Singled Up In My Room