As an adult, it’s healthy that you sometimes take time out during your day or evening and ponder about different things. Whether it be your career choice, what to cook for dinner the next day or how many times will that one irritable person call you before they get the hint that you are not interested?
We’re not perfect and we all have bad habits, growing up as a teenager I used to bite my nails way too much until my older cousin told me that it wasn’t attractive for women to bite their nails so much and if I wanted nice hands I had to take care of them. I’ll admit I have a terrible laugh, I’m my worst critic, and I eat something unhealthy after gym the list goes on.
But one thing you need to be aware of is your bad habits when it comes to the people you choose to like and engage into a relationship with. We all like to use the typical “it’s not me it’s the calibre of men and women out there nowadays they all want the same thing” and to a certain extent you are right, but also you are given a choice to when you are approached by someone whether to give them your number or lie and say your phone is in repairs and you don’t remember your number (yes I’ve used this excuse before kiss my ass so what.)
Lord knows I’ve made some TERRIBLE mistakes when it comes to the men I’ve liked, when I was younger I could blame it on immaturity and not knowing what I really wanted, which was true but I’m 25 now that excuse is now void.
Perfect example is when you have that one particular person, some will call them your “bottom bitch” others call them their “plan b” or as most say “just a friend”. This “friend” of yours is someone that maybe you were in a relationship with and broke up with, or someone you’ve never really had that official relationship with but you see from time to time and things fizzle out. The idea is that you and this person reconvene from time to time, become involved in each other’s life for a while and for one reason or another you stop seeing each other (funnily enough its usually the SAME REASON you stop seeing each other for example not willing to commit, lack of communication, not enough in common.)
The main thing is you guys are on and off more than a switch in your living room, and even though you know eventually its going to happen, when it does you vow that you’re never going to go back there and within a few months guess who’s knocking your doorbell again?
My question to you is
“How do you break a bad habit that you refuse to let go?”
You know that you’re wasting time, energy and emotion on that lost cause but for some reason especially us women we tend to hold on to that person, sometimes hoping that one day they will miraculously turn into your Prince Charming… last time I checked my name wasn’t Cinderella, Prince Jasmine or Snow White. Even in those fairy tales do you see any of those females going through the BS and headache that you put yourself through? NO! Those females were like “FORGET all you peasants I know my Prince Charming is coming” they didn’t entertain Mr Unserious, Mr Arrogant, or Mr I’m Not Ready For A Relationship But I’m Ready To Sex You. They excelled one thing that a lot of us lack especially during winter which is patience being alone.
Let’s be real NO-ONE wants to be lonely and it’s comforting knowing that someone is there when you need them to be. Sometimes it companionship, or the knowing that someone wants you, most the time it’s the sex (let’s be real who want’s to be on the hunt for a new sexual partner when you have back up penis/vagina) but even though they satisfy a certain want or need you have at that time it’s never truly enough and eventually the relationship crumbles.
Your bad habit is giving comfort to your temporary wants, and even you know that it’s not good enough and you shouldn’t even engage in a relationship with that person. But your bad habit only keeps coming back because YOU ALLOW THEM TO. Even if your bad habit knows that you can give a presidential type speech about you’re not going to be with them anymore, you deserve better and this is not what you want, after a few months and sometimes a few drinks you’re hollering at them again. By you doing so you are giving that person a bit of power over yourself, and even if you fool yourself into thinking “it’s just a bit of fun” is it funny that someone is getting the best of you when they’ve done nothing to deserve it?
Didn’t think so… you have to be completely honest with yourself and acknowledge your faults and why you allow this detrimental relationship to continue. No sugar coating, no lies, no shoulda-woulda-couldas but 100% truth, because unless you do that then you will never be able to break your bad habit.
Kisses & Bumflicks